Fight for the Right to Party
originally written for the Small Group Network Blog
Of all the grand visions and hopes we have for the people in our churches, and all the methods and tools we use to help achieve those goals… sometimes we forget one of the most powerful community-boosting tools we have: the party.
Fun comes in many different forms, from board games to a softball league to a BBQ pool party. Getting invited to something special, laughing so hard you can’t breathe, escaping from the grind of everyday life with friends – that kind of fun makes a difference in people’s lives and relationships, and it’s more important than most of us realize.
Here are three reasons we should all consider throwing and encouraging more parties this year in our churches:
(1) Jesus taught us to throw parties in ways that help outcasts belong.
Jesus teaches us in Luke 14 that we should party with those who CAN’T pay us back, because he knows that being INVITED to something special makes someone feel like they belong. And he doesn’t say to invite them to the synagogue, a Torah study, or one-on-one mentoring and accountability meetings. He says to invite them to a party.
Why? Because parties are for friends.
Inviting people to a party is inviting them to be a friend; that’s where trust and intimacy start to flourish.
(2) Parties connect “spiritual life” and “normal life.”
As people are finding Jesus, God is infiltrating areas of their lives that previously felt untouched by grace and goodness. That’s where the division between “normal life” and “spiritual life” begins.
Work 9-5 is normal life. Church on Sunday is spiritual life.
Tuesday night “out for drinks” is normal life. Wednesday night “small group” is spiritual life.
Discipleship is a process where God infiltrates the untouched areas of our lives so that we can see the real truth: that God wants all of us, not just parts of us.
We can help people bridge the gap between normal and spiritual life by just having fun together. When we bring spiritual friendships into people’s “normal lives,” it lays the groundwork for people to see that all of life is meant to be lived for and with Jesus.
(3) Fun sets the groundwork for long-term trust and partnership.
Chemistry matters for long-term spiritual friendships, and fun draws out chemistry in a profound way. But it goes even deeper than chemistry!
Laughter decompresses stress in a meaningful neurological way, and even simply smiling together boosts neurological joy in a way that leads to a secure attachment that is necessary for character formation: God designed us with a deep need for relational joy that we must meet in our church communities.
Whether it’s making sure to have something fun each week to start group, or just regular gatherings where laughter and enjoyment are the only stated goals, encourage your people to draw out each others’ “fun sides” regularly so that they can get to know each other in a real, holistic way.