Next Week’s Reading & Reflection

We seem to be unique in the animal kingdom; we are the only creatures who go back to self-destructive behaviors AFTER seeing the consequences. 

I mean, think about lab rats! One rat eats poison, the others see it, and they’re like “well that doesn’t seem like a good idea.” and then no matter how good the cheese looks, they don’t eat it… cuz they know it’s poison!! 

But we somehow continue to overeat, overwork, overdrink, over-drug, and overstress, to the point of burnout or even death...  and not stop! Heck, a year ago I had a terrible stomach ache every time I drank coffee. But I still drank 2 cups of coffee a day!

What’s bizarre is that wealth and comfort and technology haven’t made us less self-destructive!  It even seems like the more affluent we are in our society, the more poisoned cheese we eat!  We have grocery stores, cars, air conditioning, medicine… all of it. And in the United States, where we're only 5% of the world's population, we use 80% of the world's painkillers! We use 99% of the hydrocodone in the world. 

We are now the most obese country in the world, one reason we faired so poorly in the pandemic. We have more people in prison and jails per capita than any other country in the world. And we are now dying 8-10 years younger than the previous generation because of the role mental distress is playing on our brains and bodies. That’s right, for the first time in human history, we are dying EARLIER and that’s because toxic thoughts affect the brain, and affect the body.

And then what about those of us who love and follow Jesus? We definitely struggle with self-destructive behaviors that lead us away from flourishing lives. And in many of the statistics, we don’t fare much or any better than those outside of the church. We struggle just as much with bad coping mechanisms, and instead of leaning into God and others, we often feel so much shame that we isolate ourselves from others and God, exacerbating our problems. 

Over the last 40-50 years, our understanding of our behaviors, and what’s at the root of them, has been growing, changing, and morphing as psychologists and scientists have turned to science to more clearly understand what’s going on inside us. 

Two people who have really pioneered that research are Michael and Cathy Dye - and much of what we are going to explain to you today is based on their years of hard work and success in the field with something they created called “The Genesis Process.” Micheal and Cathy both come from backgrounds of neglect, drug and alcohol abuse, as well as Adrenaline addiction. Michael has had 27 surgeries… all from reckless accidents… After they both met Jesus and worked their own recovery programs, they began helping others. 

While they were working at a Rescue Mission doing addiction recovery counseling, Micheal, a certified addiction counselor at this point, and Cathy began to deep dive into the study of relapse. What they experienced was a huge discrepancy between people’s DESIRE to change and their ABILITY to change. There was only a 2% recovery rate at the Rescue Mission at the time. Only 2% of people were getting free from addiction!

Their study of relapse and neuroscience, alongside the study of God’s word as it addresses God’s healing power, turned into a relapse prevention program that uncovered and targeted people’s initial wounds, and sent them on a path of healing and self-awareness. And it worked. The Rescue Mission’s recovery rates went from 2% to around 75% after utilizing Genesis. People who were willing to change finally became able to change. 

Not only were they able to change and break free from major addictive behaviors, but what we found, and what Micheal and Cathy found, is that because they knew how to tackle their addictions, they also knew how to tackle unhealthy behaviors of any kind. 

After they went through this change process and gained the tools, self-awareness, and right experiences of freedom with God and others, our friends whose lives had once been ransacked by addiction, now looked more fruitful and freer than any of our other friends at church. They were healthier than our friends who hadn’t ever struggled with the disease of addiction.

So today, we are asking this:

What if we ALL approached our sin and destructive behaviors with the same knowlegde, tools and strategy as the people who worked with Micheal and Cathy?

If we approached our destructive behaviors with the same intensity as addicts do their addictions, then we could change.

Let’s just call ourselves addicts.

Looking at Paul’s experience in the Bible, we’d like to suggest that it’s appropriate for all of us to label our destructive coping behaviors as addictions!

Paul struggled with compulsive destructive behaviors.  And that’s a bummer, because if there’s anyone that should have a bit more of a success story… it’s Paul. He had tremendous willpower and discipline, intelligence, good intentions, crazy strong faith, and he constantly risked his life so more people could hear about Jesus… And yet, all these powerful things weren't enough.

He gave us a helpful inside look at his life in Romans 7 -  here’s the Message paraphrase:

What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. ...if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. Something has gone wrong deep within me… It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. Parts of me covertly rebel - they take charge. I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. Is there no one who can do anything for me?

SO Relatable, right? He wants to change, he just can’t. Paul came to the conclusion that there was something IN him - something IN all of us - that causes us to do the things that hurt us, things that we hate. And he says it’s SIN. 

The BibleProject has a great definition of sin and it captures Paul’s idea perfectly:

1. a failure to be humans who fully love God and others,

2. our inability to judge whether we are succeeding or failing, 

3. and the deep force inside us that rules and enslaves us.

James zeroes in on this “deep force inside us” idea some more.

He says this in James 1: 

…each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.

So here’s the progression he lays out: A temptation affects our lust (or our evil desires, as it’s sometimes translated) and then out of our evil desires we behave destructively. We sin.

But we all know that our sinful behaviors don’t just stop there. James says that sin “RUNS ITS COURSE in us…” in a way that brings forth death. And Paul just said in Romans 7 that he needed to be rescued from a BODY of death. He said it was impossible to manage or contain this force within him. Because destructive behavior, or sin, infects us and changes us internally. It becomes like cancer - or an unmanageable disease. 

And we can see this clearly in our brains! Destructive behaviors actually do something FOR us.

Sometimes they numb the pain.
Sometimes they protect us from the pain.
Sometimes it gives us energy or relief momentarily.

Destructive behaviors of all kinds give us a hit of relief or a hit of energy. And the brain likes that.

Just like a 4-wheeler has to carve a path through mud and weeds the first time it goes off-roading, the brain carves a path neurologically for the destructive behavior. And just like it’s easier on the 4-wheeler to follow the track through the mud the second time, it’s easier to follow the same neural pathway the second time.

UNFORTUNATELY, it’s not just easier. Now it’s the preferred pathway. Because the brain experienced momentary relief or comfort from the behavior or substance, it now WANTS to do it again. This unique desire is called a craving. 

Sin physically runs its course inside of us, changing our brains to actually desire the very things that harm us.

What is this called? Well, our society today and Paul seem to agree that sin leads to a disease inside of us that we now call ADDICTION.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine defines addiction like this:

Addiction is a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual’s life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences. 

In other words… let’s say it this way:

an addiction is anything I keep doing despite the harmful consequences.

Overworking, too much sugar, binge-watching TV, yelling at your spouse, procrastination, gossip, conflict avoidance...

Can we agree that we are all addicts in one way or another? We’ve all got coping mechanisms that “help us get through…” and even though the degree to which specific behaviors/substances affect us may differ… we’re all fighting the same basic battle with sin.

So can we call a truce and call ourselves addicts? If we say yes to the diagnosis, then we can also say yes to the cure.

Self-Reflection: What Is Hurting You?

1. What symptoms do you struggle with?

2. List the three strongest symptoms you chose and explain them further.

3. Which one are you choosing to work on?

4. How does it affect you? How does it make you feel and act?

5. How does it affect your relationships? How does it make others feel and act?

6. How would you rate your intimacy with God right now on a scale of 1-5? Explain.

7. Make a list of where your current priorities have been in the order of the amount of time, energy, and attention you spend on them.

8. Now put those priorities in the order of what you want them to be.

9. If you knew you had six months to live, what would you do differently? Would you change your priorities and where your invest your time and energy?

So to understand where these addictions and destructive patterns come from, we are going to look back to the Bible. 

The Bible has always told us that our behaviors come from our hearts. 

Proverbs 4
Above all else, guard your HEART,
for everything you DO flows from it.

Proverbs 27
As water reflects the face,
so one’s LIFE reflects the HEART.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Then in Romans 10, Paul goes a step further in connecting our behavior to our hearts. 

Here’s what he says:

…if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your HEART that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the HEART a person believes, resulting in righteousness…

Here he explains an important process…

With my heart, I believe.

And that belief results in righteousness (which means right behavior - right living).

The beliefs in my heart determine my behaviors. 
So to change my behavior, I have to change my HEART.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy caught up to Paul here - it asserts that our BELIEFS create EMOTIONS that DRIVE OUR BEHAVIORS.

Our hearts are the source of our deepest beliefs. They are the center of who we are. We’ve all probably grown up with this paradigm, and it intrinsically makes sense to us - whether we’ve connected it to the bible or not.

And now, thanks to modern research and great neuroscience, we can see that what the Biblical authors describe conceptually as our hearts, is functionally the MIND and physically is the BRAIN. 

Our beliefs form based on how we process our experiences in the mind. Those beliefs are held and stored in specific places in the brain.

Our beliefs are our interpretation of the things we experienced.

And our strongest beliefs are based on our experiences in relationships. 

As this process is unfolding, we are using our minds to interpret our world in the world and then encoding and recording what we learn in our brains. And we interpret our worlds based on our sense of self, which is formed through relationships. 

This process of forming beliefs starts immediately in life. Prenatally, and then throughout the first years of life, a baby’s brain is constantly deciding whether the world is safe or dangerous and wiring itself accordingly. 

And it’s RELATIONSHIPS that prove the world is safe. Or… not. 

Infant development research has shown the importance of the first year (2 years really) of life on a person’s security, attachment, and beliefs. What happens when a baby cries out, and then somebody comes in and happily meets his or her needs?

That little baby brain starts connecting subconscious dots...

• I have needs 

• And IF I ask for help

• I get my needs met and the reward of JOY - they were happy to help me

• Therefore, vulnerability is okay, relationships are good, and they come with rewards

But what about the alternative? What happens when it needs something, it cries out, and it gets its needs met but without any joy? That caregiver didn’t WANT to be there or help. Or even worse, what if those needs don’t get met at all? 

(FYI, that’s worse because a complete lack of attention is more damaging to the brain than BAD attention. NEGLECT is actually more damaging to our beliefs and sense of self than abuse)

When its needs aren’t met with joy, that little baby brain programs itself accordingly:

• I have needs

• And IF I admit them… IF I ask for help… IF I show that I’m vulnerable… 

• something bad happens. 

So, the base programming - the BELIEF - is written.
I shouldn’t have any needs. I can’t be vulnerable. 

And then that belief is at the center, at the source, written on the heart.

I’m not worth the help.
Relationships hurt, they don’t help.
Don’t get your hopes up, you’ll just be let down.
Don’t trust: it’ll end up hurting. 

And these wounds to our programming don't just happen in the first two years of life… or in extreme cases of abuse or neglect. 

Researchers at the University of Michigan actually discovered that social rejection, or social loss, HURTS in the same way that physical pain does.

In their initial experiment, they had people look at a picture of an ex-partner that had broken up with them and asked them to think about their feelings of rejection. Next, they gave them a sensation on their arm that mimicked a hot coffee spill.

Both scenarios lit up all the same areas of the brain as the feeling of hot coffee spilling on their arms. Social rejection or loss “HURT” in the same way that physical pain does. 

But it gets better.

In a second experiment, people were asked to view profiles of hundreds of other adults and select some who they might be most interested in romantically. 

Then when they were lying in a brain imaging machine, they were politely informed that the individuals THEY found attractive and interesting did NOT find THEM attractive or interesting. 

Well, the brain scans they recorded during those moments showed a strong opioid release from the same exact areas that are involved in numbing physical pain.

And the best part?

Each participant was told ahead of time that the “dating” profiles were not real, and neither was the “rejection.” So their thinking brains knew… but their unconscious brains (their hearts) were wounded nonetheless. 

Social rejection, unmet needs, and broken trust rewrite our beliefs throughout life and teach us that relationships are not safe.

And since God designed us to need relational safety like we need air and water, that is a big problem.

So right now, you may be feeling depressed and worried because you or someone you love had terrible early childhood experiences and trauma. Or because you’re realizing just how much pain you’ve experienced in life.

Well, hold on and listen closely.

Yes, our early years are crucial and that’s when our brains are most pliable. But what we know is that our brains can, and always do, continue to change.

We have the power to reinterpret the pain in our lives. And when we do, we change our brains!

When we intentionally conceal the painful beliefs that we’ve encoded in our brains, they lose their power and we begin to heal. The mind, and the work you are about to do, CAN change the brain, and that WILL change your behaviors!! God is a good God, and he created it this way! 

Self-Reflection: Belief Formation

10. Based on this information, how have you seen your beliefs change in the past? 

11. How have you seen someone else’s behaviors change after their attitude towards themselves, God, or other people changed?

Now we’ll talk for just a moment about hope.

We’ll do a deep dive on what we call the Hope Engine in a few weeks, but here’s how it starts. 

We can, through hard work, change our beliefs. When we do this, our brains change, and so does our behavior. That hard work is something we call a RISK. 

When we have real, substantial hope that things can be different than how they are now, we are ready to take a risk. Because of taking that risk, we experience change. And then our original hope is solidified as faith - experiential assurance that the right risks are worth taking.

And what does faith do? The memory of God’s faithfulness makes hope for the future more easily accessible.

There’s an all-important keyword: this is all about taking the RIGHT risks.

There are plenty of action steps that won’t help you solve your real issue. Changing your oil won’t re-inflate your empty tire.

Again, we’ll talk about the full definition of an effective risk in a few weeks. But for now, just know that a risk is a practical step toward a real fear.

Pain is usually our greatest motivator for change. Sometimes we get lulled into believing that if I’m not in pain, I’m doing well. But not feeling pain only means you’re not feeling pain! It doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong, or there is no fear. 

So to do the work that we need to do, uncovering and identifying the lies that unconsciously hold our hearts captive, we have to get in touch with our pain. It’s already there… we just have to choose to face it.

For the next few weeks, our risk will be facing our pain by doing a dopamine fast.

The neurotransmitter Dopamine plays a primary role in your brain’s reward system. It is a big part of how we feel pleasure and helps us strive, focus, and find things interesting. Dopamine helps us clear out background noise to focus on something important. And that background noise isn’t just external - it’s internal thoughts, memories, and emotions, too.

The brain produces dopamine naturally alongside other brain chemicals that create a sense of balance. That’s exactly what the brain is always aiming for: balance. The pleasure systems of our brain also function as the pain systems: the two act like a seesaw, always trying to find the right balance.

Too much dopamine coming from unhealthy influences creates a big problem for the brain. It becomes overly averse to the pain side of the seesaw since it’s so used to major influxes of dopamine on a regular basis, saving it from everyday discomforts, boredom, inconvenience, or negative emotions.

And since all that dopamine is suppressing background information in the brain, there tends to be a lot of stuff bouncing around down there waiting to get noticed and resolved.

We need to get that information to come forward.

A dopamine fast isn’t actually fasting from dopamine… Again, your body produces it naturally and the right kinds of activities will boost that natural production. But the brain is lazy. If you’ve been feeding it endlessly artificial hits of dopamine, it’s entirely possible that the system is out of whack.

This will probably make your mind more chaotic and strain your attention. It won’t stay that way for a long time, but it won’t feel great. There will be a physical sensation of withdrawal as you take away the substances or behaviors that have been doing the work for you.

It’s all for the sake of finding the things we’re avoiding.

The physical cravings, withdrawal, and even pain of the fasting experience aren’t the goal. We don’t need to feel bad so that God can make us feel good. That’s not some super-spiritual magic trick.

We’re not trying to impress God with our ability to say NO to things. Let’s be honest… white-knuckle sobriety from Instagram isn’t exactly the most impressive thing anyway.

We’re also not trying to ask God for something specific to happen and hoping he notices because fasting showed Him how serious we are.

This fast is about facing our pain so we can identify our fears (because our fears are hiding behind the things we’re fasting from).

So as you fast, examine.

When do I want to do that thing?
What might I be avoiding?
What thoughts most naturally come to mind when I’m no longer avoiding them?

You don’t have to solve them today. You don’t have to make the pain, thoughts, or feelings go away. You just have to listen and record for now.

This week, choose to fast from one of the following:

• sugar, alcohol, caffeine, and simple carbs

• background noise like podcasts, news, music, etc.

• shows, movies, media, & video games

• social media and online shopping

• talking about anyone that’s not there with you (only share stories or information that you were directly involved in)

• food! consider a full 1-3 day fast or only eating at mealtimes

Self-Reflection: Hope

12. What risks have you taken that brought about real change or growth? What risks went poorly or disappointed you?

13. Where did you get the hope you needed to take the risk? 

14. Would you say that you currently have hope that your current issues or struggles can change? How much?