ConversationLesson 10 of 48

Conversation Guide

Ground rules to read aloud, then the conversation flow for Stop 1.

Ground Rules

Start every conversation by reading these out loud to set the tone and expectation of safety.

  • We will stay kind and curious.
  • We won't advise each other or tie endless parallels to our own lives.
  • We will commit to prioritizing these conversations, coming prepared with self-reflection work done, and being honest.
  • We won't share what we hear elsewhere.
  • We will work hard to use "I" statements and personalize, rather than generalize, what we are learning.

Conversation Flow

Questions are grouped together to facilitate easy sharing. Based on the number of people in your conversation and how long you're planning to meet, try to set an expectation for the amount of time each person has to share for each group of questions.

  1. Where are you feeling stuck, and how long have you felt this way?

  2. How have you tried to get UNstuck in the past? What has worked? What has come up short? How did that affect your motivation and attitude?

  3. When you're stuck, what kinds of things do you do that sabotage the vision of "shalom" in your life? How do you lose sight of that vision?

  4. Think about a life of Shalom: rich complexity in harmonious alignment and stability through thrilling change. Looking honestly at your life right now, how far away do you seem from that vision? Take an honest inventory and be specific about the gaps.

  5. Think about the relational joy that we talked about: what our brains physically and chemically desire more than anything else. How much joy is present in your life right now? Who is it that brings you joy? Who drains or steals it?

  6. Now consider the deep attachment that forms on top of that relational joy: the fullness of safety we're meant to experience with God and others. What relationships provide that kind of safety for you right now? What relationships have hurt that sense of safety?

  7. What would look different in your life if you had more joy and attachment present in your relationships?

  8. Which Action Step did you take, and what did you learn from it?