ConversationLesson 17 of 48

Conversation Guide

Ground Rules

Start every conversation by reading these out loud to set the tone and expectation of safety.

  • We will stay kind and curious.
  • We won't advise each other or tie endless parallels to our own lives.
  • We will commit to prioritizing these conversations, coming prepared with self-reflection work done, and being honest.
  • We won't share what we hear elsewhere.
  • We will work hard to use "I" statements and personalize, rather than generalize, what we are learning.

Conversation Flow

Action Step check-in — How did fasting go? What did you notice about yourself or your tendencies? What do you think that behavior or substance does for you normally?

Self-reflection check-in — How has your self-reflection work been going? What has your rhythm looked like? Is writing like this a new practice for you, or something you've done before?

  1. How does it feel to only focus on your own issues, since "the only problem I can do anything about is ME"?

  2. What or whom are you most likely to point the finger at or assign blame to for your situation? What would it look like to take ownership instead?

  3. Were you taught that specific behaviors are inherently shameful? How has that affected how you've tried to change?

  4. How averse are you to different types of pain, and how do you act differently when you're in pain?

  5. What do you do that you wish you didn't — and what does it do FOR you in the moment?

  6. Which of the more surprising escape behaviors landed for you (blame, anger, gossip, control, over-thinking, busyness, serving, work)?