ConversationLesson 24 of 48

Conversation Guide

Ground Rules

Start every conversation by reading these out loud to set the tone and expectation of safety.

  • We will stay kind and curious.
  • We won't advise each other or tie endless parallels to our own lives.
  • We will commit to prioritizing these conversations, coming prepared with self-reflection work done, and being honest.
  • We won't share what we hear elsewhere.
  • We will work hard to use "I" statements and personalize, rather than generalize, what we are learning.

Conversation Flow

Questions are grouped together to facilitate easy sharing. Based on the number of people in your conversation and how long you're planning to meet, try to set an expectation for the amount of time each person has to share for each group of questions.

  1. Which side of the fence do you more naturally fall on: devaluing your emotions or overvaluing them? Are you more commonly frustrated by your feelings or ruled by your feelings?

  2. How were you taught to approach your emotions throughout life? How were negative emotions treated or talked about in your house growing up?

  3. Think back to all the emotions we see Jesus experience throughout his life. Is it hard for you to reconcile the way you think about Jesus with this picture of Him feeling angry, anxious, lonely, sad, distressed, weary, terrified, and depressed?

  4. What do you think your emotional "pool depth" is in this season of your life — or even just this week?

  5. Which of the four defense systems (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) seems to be your go-to? What does it look like for you?

  6. What was it like tracking your strongest emotions throughout the week? How did it feel using the Emotion Wheel?

  7. What kind of insight did you gain about yourself through this exercise? What patterns did you see as you tracked?

  8. Did you realize any connections to painful or dangerous memories that you'd be willing to share?