Self-Reflection Work

Break this work up over several sittings if you'd like, or take a quick pass through all at once and come back to different questions for a deeper dive as they simmer in your mind.

1. Which side of the fence do you more naturally fall on: devaluing your emotions or overvaluing them? Are you more commonly frustrated by your feelings or ruled by your feelings?

2. How were you taught to approach your emotions throughout life? How were negative emotions treated or talked about in your house growing up? (Or if they were never talked about or acknowledged, what message did that send you?)

3. Think back to all the emotions we see Jesus experience throughout his life. Is it hard for you to reconcile the way you think about Jesus with this picture of Him feeling angry, anxious, lonely, sad, distressed, weary, terrified, and depressed? How well does that reconcile with how you normally think about Jesus?

4. What do you think your emotional "pool depth" is in this season of your life? Or even just this week?

   • Do you find yourself constantly fighting off or avoiding negative emotions so they don't overwhelm you?
   • Do you sometimes wonder if you experience fewer or weaker emotions than other people?
   • How intensely and fully do you feel positive emotions?
   • If your pool depth is more shallow right now, can you think of a time when it was deeper? What was different then?

5. Remember the limbic system's defense systems when danger is sensed:

   • Fight — facing the threat aggressively
   • Flight — running away or avoiding the danger
   • Freeze — complete shutdown, unable to move or act against a threat
   • Fawn — trying to please or appease the threat to avoid any conflict

   Which seems to be your go-to defense system? Try writing out some examples of what it looks like for you. (A good example of flight would be pulling out your phone immediately after a conflict conversation.)